How to Raise the Roof

(Editor's Note: Diagrams left out. Our graphics department (Sleeve) was not able to meet our publication deadline.)

1) Bend your elbows at 45-degree angles, and expose your palms to the heavens.
2) Extend your arms over your head while saying nothing
3) Return arms to start position
4) Repeat for desired effect
5) Look around to see if anyone is impressed enough to mimic you.
6) Upon realizing that no one is, curl up in the fetal position, gently weep and once again return to your lonely rotten life.