Fear of Dying

I have an intense fear of dying. As a child this fear manifest itself as insomnia and I could not sleep for days on end. My parents addressed this issue with repeated therapy ginsing tea, and qualudes. My fear has recently been exacerbated by the troubling/untimely death of a b school classmate of mine, who was 30 and was in much better shape than I ever am. I wept openly for his month old son, but I did it in my room with the door closed and the shades down and told no one about it.

My insomnia is also back in full force. I was up on the phone last night till about 1am and up running the chelsea streets at 5:55am.

Seriously fearing for my health I hit the vitamin shoppe this week and stocked up on over $100 in natural madness

L-Carnitine - an all natural suppliment that has been shown in some tests to alieviate and effects of Alzheimers while at the same time speeding up the metabolism and improving heart performance

Omega-3 Fatty Acids - The natural oils found in most fresh fish. I consume 3 of these a day, because 3 years ago I had some blood work done that indicated my trygliceride count was too low. This is at least part of the genetic curse of being a member of my father's family where everyone seems to be on lipitor a hardcore cholesterol drug.

Glucosamine & Chondroitin Sulfate - I have noticed that in weeks where I run more than 8 miles my leg joints start hurting and I need to take a day or two off, the glucosamine speeds up the replenishment of my joint muscles so I can run more, faster...so i can take more glucosamine.

Smart people would just go to the doctor...me, I'm self medicating...