The Hose

Stupid things you do when you're drunk.

I recently returned from a convention at the jersey shore. It was a beautiful weekend full of barbecues, horseshoes, and alot of liquor. But what compelled me to write about my weekend was what happened during one of the nights we stayed. After a brief stroll down the boardwalk, my wife and I and another couple decidedto go back to the hotel for some drinks. I figured that I could get my wife drunk enough to have sex with me. But, when we arrived back at the hotel, we found the wives of the other members drunk in front of our door trying to pry open our door. They had found out that we were storing several bottles of liquor in our room for which they felt compelled to relieve us of. Well, after beating them off with a stick, I reluctantly gave them a bottle of Hennessey to leave us alone. After about five minutes, the women were back wanting more. I tried to fight off as many women as I could, but I was severely outnumbered. They were able to take a bottle of Hypnotic. I was crushed!! Fortunately, the women left us alone and proceeded to bang on everyone else's door the rest of the night. Unfortunately for me, my wife felt it unwise to drink that night and I ended up relieving myself in the bathroom. What a waste of a weekend!!!