My hetero life mate, my brother?

My good friends invited me up to Freshchester this past Saturday to spread a little holiday cheer. They are a great couple and I love them dearly. The host and I worked together, his wife is awesome and his kid brother always brings the jokes. Also invited was Le Troisieme, who knew the host from their days in university.

I arrived an hour later than Le Troisieme because I'm brown and I can get away with that sort of thing. Besides its a party...do I really need to be timely?

Our host, upon seeing me approach, commented to Le Troiseme "Hey, here comes your hetero life mate". This was a funny joke that started when our host heard we were moving into together a few years ago. When I approached Le Troisieme to say hello he retold the joke and I knew he was finding it less funny all the time. Further, Le Troisieme was exasperated.

Only the night before, I had assured him that we would be the only single fellows there. Still he felt compelled to make this observation immediately and seek consolation. The two ideas juxtaposed in my head brought a smile to my face. Dude, are you sure you're not my hetero life mate?

I was OK with the lack of tail though, I was OK my exasperated friend and OK with the fact that everyone at this party seemed to know my name though I could recall no one else's...not even the people I had been on week long holidays with. I was good with all that...there is wine, there is food, there are jokes...who cares. Besides, I had my hetero life mate at my side to help me with names which he knew no problem. Aren't white people useful? I'm glad I have them around...

At the appropriate hour, right before the neighbors called the police and right before a sick blizzard started. I made my way to the car. I offered those heading back to the city a ride. In piled Le Troisieme, his ex and the drunk cousin of our host. Troisieme got in the front to both help me find the freeway and mock my feminine driving.

From the backseat we got a grip of words a minute from drunk cousin that she tried to pass off as sentences. I wasn't buying it. She bang from topic to topic only to slow down long enough to suggest one of three locations she wanted to be left off at. This uncertainty annoyed me and I agreed to drop her off in the west chelsea club district for two reasons:
(1) It was convienent for me
(2) It was unsafe for her

She interrupted a diatribe to suggest I was being cool about "reparations" which made no sense. Had I enslaved her earlier in the evening without noticing? That sounds like a joke I might made and escalated past the point of reason but I would have remembered that. Besides, when would I have emancipated her? I'm not into random emancipation. I probed a second longer and realized she was trying to thank me for being accommodating. Le Troisieme and I laughed hysterically to the point where she was annoyed. The only single woman at this party, in our car, and we were ripping into her...and loving every minute of it.

Maybe the hetero life mate thing is a bit much...