More Open Letters

Evil

Dear Guy At The Gym With The Milkiest Man Titties I Have Ever Seen,

Dude, the fact that you wear a skin tight Under Armour shirt is not helping the matter. Stop lying to yourself.

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Dear Guy At The Gym Who's In Love With His Own Cleavage,

Dude, guys do not really flaunt their cleavage. And if you were to, just go all the way and buy a muscle-shirt tank top. But no, you insist on working out in a (very) low v-neck Haynes tshirt. Who does that?? Oh, you.

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Dear People On The Subway,

Listen, they call it Rush Hour for a reason. People are in a rush. When the subway door opens and you step in, don't just STOP right there at the doorway. Move the heck in, people! It may SEEM like I'm jamming my groin region into yours, but really, I'm just trying to get to work on time.