The Hose

Evil

FIASCO

I travel a lot for work, but my driver's license has been expired since my most recent birthday. This means I can't rent cars (bad) and I always get frisked at airport security (somewhat good) for not having "valid" government issued photo ID. I tried to get a renewed license. Here's the sequence of events:

1. Show up at the Express DMV (I'm a busy man!) for license renewal. Got rejected because my current license is from California and they only do in-state renewals at the Express DMV.

2. Show up at the regular DMV and wait 2 hours, which isn't bad all things considering. Got rejected because my proof of identity is an expired passport. Crap! I have no physical birth certificate because I was born in Vietnam and they don't really keep records at the hospitals there. Also, there was a war of some sort. So I have to renew my passport first.

3. Show up at the post office with passport renewal form filled out + 2 little headshots of myself + the old passport. Go up to the window. Got rejected because I was 17 when my last passport was issued. Apparently, I can only renew an EXPIRED passport in person if I got my last one at age 16 or younger! (Ironically, I could have also renewed in person if my passport weren't already expired.) They give me a form and say I have to do it by mail.

4. Filled out the form and go to the post office to send it certified mail. (I have to include my old passport, so it's important to get it certified.) Show up at the post office and see a GIANT ASS LINE. Realized that it's April 15 and everyone is filing their taxes. CRAP!

WHAT NOW? Crying...