Update on Our Lives

Evil

Dear Faithful Reader(s),

Even though there hasn't been a lot of activity on The Hose lately, it's not actually representative of what's happening in our real lives. There's been lots going on. I felt it was only fair that you should get an update. Here's what we've been up to:

Manolo - Working on his memoirs. Hit severe writer's block by page 5. Has been whittling away time (i.e. jerking off non-stop) ever since.

Xtian - Banging a war path through the women of New York City. Too busy to hang out with Evil anymore.

Kentaro - Steadily checking off every milestone in his master plan for taking over that fancy-pants investment bank that he works on. Most recent accomplishment in the master plan: appointing one of his key lieutenants, Bruno, as co-head of Global Capital Markets.

Mr. Shoulders - Who knows what Mr. Shoulders is up to? Is he still alive?

Cheo - Desperately trying to find underwear in his size.

The Bumpasaurus - Reading comic books. Writes the occasional love letter to David Beckham. In his remaining free time, fills his belly button with peanut butter, then scoops it out with his finger, then eats it.

Evil - On a serious note, last week, my son was born. A healthy 8 pounds, 4 ounces. Really healthy set of lungs. Will post some pictures shortly, as soon as the kid stops looking like a raisin, because no one wants to see pictures of freakish alien-like babies.

OK, bye now.