Hello 2005, It's Nice To Meet You

Evil

I know I'm a little late in posting these New Year's Resolutions, but hey, I've pretty been late with everything all my life. I mean, just ask my mom. I was so late in popping out of her that by month #10, she was pretty much doing jumping jacks in hopes that I would just slip out somehow. Have you ever seen a 10 month-pregnant woman do jumping jacks? It's a sight! (Or so I hear from my dad.)

Anyway, without further adoo, here are my resolutions for 2005:

One. No longer ask girls to marry me if odds are less than 0.5%.

I've tried this several *coughmanycough* times in the past and things have just not panned out. (As if THAT needed to be said.)

Two. No longer become emotionally attached to any girl who so much as gives me a hug.

No further commentary needed. This post is already becoming more embarrassing than I had originally intended.

Three. Meet a nice girl; avoid the really horrible girls.

Actually, this one is probably the most do-able...