I don't sleep well

i'm not sure there's much else to say on the subject. But clearly I'm not sleeping well and I'm sort of going nuts over it.

The thing about not sleeping is that you spend a ton of time thinking and really no one, not even me, needs to spend that much time listening to me ramble.

It's becoming a problem...

Where have I been?

There are a number of possibilities

(1) I've been really busy with work.
(2) I've been trying to convince a teacher that didn't like what I stood for to like me as a person. I failed there.
(3) I've been picking fights with minor celebrities in the Phoenix Airport
(4) I've been getting drunk in the Woodland Hills, Ca Hilton and trying to get receptions to meet me in my suite.
(5) I've been flying to LA to take people to lunch
(6) I've generally been going insane
(7) I've been trying to coax Evil out of what was clearly a year long funk!

The point is I'm back. This year promises to be huge. Trips to Miami with Manolo and Jon-El, A retreat in Thailand to get a colonic, more client conversations than I can shake a stick at and all the while, nurturing my favorite hobby...being self defeating...

Emotional and Dietary Yo-Yo

Evil

What I had for dinner today:

* A plate of fried calamari
* A bowl of beef noodle soup
* Pad Thai
* Roasted Duck Curry with a bowl of rice

WTF? What happened?

Eat me, cont'd

Evil

For dinner tonight, I had:

* 3 beers

And when I got home, I sprinkled a few grains of table salt on my tongue because even though I was craving food, I knew I didn't absolutely need to eat. My body just wanted a little taste of salt.

Eat me

I had the strangest dinner tonight:

* 4 carrots, followed by
* some leftover italian sausage in my fridge, followed by
* 6 little pieces of white chocolate
* 2 glasses of milk

Stories for 2005

Please, loyal readers of The Hose, do not despair...Even though Manolo realized that blogging its sooo 2004 and he seriously thought of putting the keyboard down, he can't let his loyal readers down.

He understands that he has created something bigger than himself and cannot allow "THE HOSE" to fail like so many other companies from the Dot.Com era ( Scient, TellMe) where Evil and Xtian played a part...As a result, Manolo is coming back soon with the vengeance of the second cousin of the brother of a Puerto Rican catholic schoolgirl abducted by her 40 year-old English as a Second Language teacher.

Some of the life stories he is working on (not in any specific order)...

1) Charity work with troubled koalas
2) Shopping at the Supermarket
3) Being able to put his pants one leg at a time
4) Looking at the back of Paris Hilton's head
5) I just wanted to say I was on Cialis the other day
6) Tutoring sessions with retarded dolphins
7) And many more...

And Evil, next time you’re feeling blue, next time you "feel like this guy or that guy", pamper yourself! You are worth it!

Where is XTIAN?

Yo, where is XTIAN?

Did he disappear into bolivion?

Was he arrested for domestic abuse?

Is is too busy at work to blog? (HAHAHA)

Did he find true love? (Cue ominous music here... *dumdumDUM*)

Hello 2005, It's Nice To Meet You

Evil

I know I'm a little late in posting these New Year's Resolutions, but hey, I've pretty been late with everything all my life. I mean, just ask my mom. I was so late in popping out of her that by month #10, she was pretty much doing jumping jacks in hopes that I would just slip out somehow. Have you ever seen a 10 month-pregnant woman do jumping jacks? It's a sight! (Or so I hear from my dad.)

Anyway, without further adoo, here are my resolutions for 2005:

One. No longer ask girls to marry me if odds are less than 0.5%.

I've tried this several *coughmanycough* times in the past and things have just not panned out. (As if THAT needed to be said.)

Two. No longer become emotionally attached to any girl who so much as gives me a hug.

No further commentary needed. This post is already becoming more embarrassing than I had originally intended.

Three. Meet a nice girl; avoid the really horrible girls.

Actually, this one is probably the most do-able...

Why Hello Ladies!

Evil

It has recently come to my attention that guys are sometimes able to impress gals by sporting certain possessions. Usually, said possessions indicate wealth or eliteness of some sort.

Being ahead on the technology curve does both, don't you think? I mean, those gadgets easily run a few bills (wealth!) and by definition, being a tech early adopter is soooo EL33T.

I've decided: first thing tomorrow, I am going to get myself one of these babys!!!

I'm trying to convince XTIAN to throw a Super Bowl Party. Anyone who agrees that this is a kick ass idea, let XTIAN know!