Moving Day!

The Hose is Moving!

Click here to check out the new home for the Hose.

We are still working on the design etc and there will be many rapid changes. But let's get back to posting.

$8 Was in My Pocket

What is American Airlines going to do now? Crank up the air conditioning? This is ridiculous.

Cold people are not happy.

Manolo Hangs Out With Evil

I was amazed how Evil and I managed to have a good time this weekend at the Directv Celebrity Beach Bowl despite our deep animosity towards each other...he was so funny...he had this running joke where he pretended he didn't know who I was...he even tried to have security escort me out...ha ha ha!!!

Uh Oh?

Evil

I was just at the dentist. As I was leaving, the receptionist asked me when I wanted my next appt for and which hygenist I usually see (since today's appt was a last minute fill-in and not with my usual hygenist). I answered her: "I usually see paula…"

She informs me that there are two paulas who work there and asks me which one.

I say, "errr, the black lady."

Then it suddenly occurs to me that saying "black lady" might be totally un PC. I'm not sure. What's the real deal? Did I goof?

Disappointing Video Of The Day

Evil

Was browsing CNN and saw the headline "Ladies Pose Nude For Pets." Great!... Except when I actually watched the video. :(

Things That Make Me Say, Good Gravy!

Evil

Simon Cowell is paid $50 million dollars per year???!!!

Is that his overall earnings per year or his earnings just for American Idol? If for Idol alone, that seems absolutely insane. Inconceivable, even.

Also, hiring Howard Stern for Idol would be a brilliant move!!! That would be awesome.

Demon Sheep Leaves xTian Confused and Afraid

Can anyone explain this metaphor to me? Who is the dude crawling around in the demon sheep mask? Is it me? Is it Tom Campbell? Is it Carly? Is Carly one of the sheep? Who are the other sheep? Maybe poor people in Oakland? Or angry farmers with no water? Charleton Heston? Am I the demon sheep because I let the state of California give me an MBA and then ran out of Dodge?(Head scratching). This is the worst political ad ever, it has left me confused and afraid.

Full Disclosure: Tom Campbell is a friend of mine. He is. He, L3, Sparks and Mamacita are the only conservative friends I count in the world. I usually only associate with like minded pinko/commies. Back to Tom; a few years ago, we were both affiliated with the most greatest Public Institution Higher Learning Ever Conceived by Man. During my first year, I lived in the I-House and he used to randomly have dinner there several nights a week. More than a few times we would have dinner and he would indulge my leftist views and explain weird laws to me.

Thing I'm Going to Do Today

My mind is made up. I'm gonna do it. I've wanted to do this ever since I was young. I was always fascinated by this place, but never had a chance to go. Today I've got time and proximity on my side. It's gonna get done.

I'm going to the La Brea Tar Pits (though this photo already has me prepared to be underwhelmed).

Sometimes I Feel Like This Article

Evil

Headline: "Study Links Excessive Internet Use To Depression"

I feel sad.

Lookey-Likey

Evil

Super Bowl pitchman Mean Joe Greene and Muscle-Turned-Boxing-Coach "Cutty" from The Wire.

Lookey-Likey

Evil

New York Yankees Pitcher / Headcase Joba Chamberlain and Mad Men Couch Commie Paul Kinsey.

Hard-To-Explain Cultural Gaps

Evil

I've always assumed that I had watched Godfather II at some point in my life. In fact, I've always assumed that I've watched it multiple times. After (re)watching the first Godfather on the plane ride home, I decided to get Godfather II via Time Warner Cable's Movies On Demand service. Will there be more cats advising the Corleone family?!?! We shall see!

I'm 20 minutes into the movie and I've realized... I've never seen Godfather II before. How strange.

Quickies - Back In The USA Edition

Evil

* I'm back in the land of the free. Now I can fully enjoy my freedoms in all its joyous forms. Why, hello, Internet boobies! You sure look nice today!

* I heated up some soup today and started sipping while the thing was still scalding hot. Turned out, I burned the SH*T out of my lips and inner mouth. Skin peeling everywhere. Not pretty. My gluttony got the best of me this time.

* In a concession to the weak economy and my continued unemployment, I decided not to re-instate my gym membership at Equinox. Instead, I joined the NYSC, which is totally more ghetto but also about half the cost. Maybe I was inspired by Scott Brown's 200K mile truck? I am a true man of the people.

* I'm waiting for the laundry to get delivered so I can get my gym clothes so I can go to the gym already. Cmon laundry people, it's past 6pm! What's the holdup?

* If the laundry doesn't arrive within the next 30 minutes, I'm bagging the gym. I will jump straight to the "drinking alone" portion of tonight's agenda.

(More Difficult) Mystery Photo Of The Day

Evil

Hmmm, I'm surprised that y'all found the Marlon Brando mystery photo to be too easy. For me, it's hard to imagine what Marlon Brando looks like when he's not a 450 pound blimp. But then again, the only Marlon Brando movie I ever saw was Don Juan Demarco. (Great movie, by the way. It features Queens, NY!)

OK, so here is a harder one for you guys. I'll even give you a hint: you don't normally see this guy in front of the camera (still camera or movie camera)... so he's not a movie star, tv star, or model, per se.

Mystery Photo Of The Day

Evil

Who is this guy? (The man, not the cat.)

And I thought football season was over!

Last night, America's Coach, Rex Ryan reminded us all why we loved him. While getting into it with some fans at an MMA event in Miami last night (featuring Herschel Walker! G*dd*mn), he gave everyone the business.

He then went on the mic and delivered a WWE style promo to the Miami crowd!

Reports indicate that later he consumed 70,0000 calories...

Who's in for HBO's Hard Knocks this summer featuring the NY Jets? (HAND RAISED)

Sunday Coffeehouse - Katy Perry's Cover of MGMT's Electric Feel ( A Decidedly Unelectric Feel)

As you know, I am currently mildly obsessed with Katy Perry and bring her up constantly. During a recent conversation, an infuriated person pointed out to me that this was the most interesting thing she had ever done - a live cover of Electric Feel done accustically for Live Lounge on BBC Radio 1.

I love it...cheers...

I Never Feel Like This Guy

Couldn't he at least start losing his hair or something?

Gato-Gram... Signing Off

Temp Roommate

My owner will be here to pick me up in about 15 minutes. It's been nice knowing all you Hosers. If any of you are ever in Shanghai, please come visit me! I will even show you the best basketjob joints in town, if that's the kind of thing you're into.

Question for Sparks

Get your spreadsheet fired up.

I've lived in NYC for 66 months. I take a cab about twice a week. What are the odds I've had the same cabbie twice?