Nor'easter Update

Evil

Half of the upper west side is now washed away by the Nor'easter. The downpour is also drenching my spirits.

A Crack Pack Wedding

At a wedding this past weekend, I watched as the groom hazed in the following manner.

One of my friends yelled "Gas Pedal" at the top of his lungs.
The groom was wrestled to the ground, with his shirt lifted over his head ala a hockey fight.
he was grabbed by his ankles
the person holding his ankles mashed down on his crotch as though he were pumping a gas pedal
Someone came up immediately behind him yelling "ice crotch"
Someone else shoved a bunch of ice down his pants

Then a lively game of flip cup resumed.

Sometimes I miss college....

Am I Still Alive?

Evil

A little groggy. A little buzzed, too, since they upgraded me to first class and I had about 5 glasses of wine, but they were the little glasses they use on planes, so maybe it was only two and a half glasses in reality. Plane was delayed. First on the ground in Chicago and then in the air, circling above LaGuardia. I got off the plane finally. Tired. First stop: the men's room. Have to pee. Too much drinking? I pee. Then I try to wash my hands. I put my hands under the spout. Crap, broken. These infrared motion sensors are so flakey. I move to the next one. Fuck, broken too? I move to the next. This is pissing me off. All I want to do is wash my hands. I wave my hands in front of the sensor. I put my body in front of it, then move it away, then move back in front of it. Nothing? I move to the fourth sink, the last in this row. Nothing again. The guy next to me sees all of this. He's washing his hands. The sensor works for him. There are now other guys using the other sinks. It works for everyone but me? The guy next to me motions to me to wash my hands in his sink. I do. Then I leave, but not before questioning whether or not I'm still alive.

Afternoon of Gayness and Federal Offenses

The picture below was not taken at the 2007 Gay Pride Parade but at the start of something that ended up being far less pleasant. Recently Evil and I met up with a mutual friend SWCnBTA (someone who cannot be taken anywhere) for an action packed afternoon of theater, talking to strangers and committing federal offenses.

When I got to the theater, I spied SWCnBTA with a huge bouquet of flowers. Total sidebar but i find women holding flowers really attractive. Is that wierd? She was also talking to a very strange man with a name tag. Knowing SWCnBTA as someone who often carries around an entourage of randoms (witness EVIL) I let it go. I read the name tag and started talking to the fellow like he mattered. He soon drifted off and she admitted that she had no idea who she was. I stepped away to get a coffee and when I returned she was doing more of the same...with someone equally random. This time I did not take the bait.

By the time Evil showed up, I was already looking for a quick get away. Evil does not want to be here. He told me so. In fact, he's pretty passive aggressive about being here at all and holds me personally responsble. SWCnBTA is entirely apologetic. I'm confused. If he did not want to come and she knew, what is he doing here? Who am I to judge, I'm gay for musicals so I'm totally pumped.

We sit in our seats which are terrible. SWCnBTA decides she's had enough of that and with a total disregard for the rules claims much better seats. She then argues with the usher right up until curtain rise. Evil can't decide if he's horrified or bored. I am humming along to the music.

SWCnBTA does not know you cannot take pictures and is going nuts. It's borderline disrespectful but she is not the only one so I do not care outside of the fact that it might be disruptive to the show and her figiting is irksome. I'm still humming. I'm also suffering from censory overload as the director decided against having an orchestra and has the 10 odd cast members banging on instruments right on stage. The net effect being similar to someone trying to act out a scene in the middle of a marching band...a very good marching band, it was just a bit much for me.

As luck would have it. My friend was caught and had to delete all her digital photos but not without a huge fight. Evil is completely unplugged from this whole event. I'm trying to fit my 6ft 2in frame under my seat in shame.

Backstage, we try to get to SWCnBTA's friend to congratulate her. We are standing next to a young woman who "does not know" the lead but has seen "several of his tapes" and would like to chat with him. My mind wonders if he does some sort of porn or something. SWCnBTA yelps out something about how she could sneak around back and shift thru his trash. I wonder aloud if SWCnBTA should really be allowed to go anywhere. When we do get backstage, SWCnBTA's friend makes a comment about how horrific it is when people start taking pictures. I suddenly wish I could look away and whistle. Except my whistling is terrible and full of spittle.

The evening ended with Evil and I overcompensating for our masculinity by ordering more BBQ than we could possibly eat and watching college basketball till we could not move. SWCnBTA was so bored by this that she went to watch a dvr of an old "Boy meets Grill" in the bed room.

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