Manolo Manscapes Himself (Part Deux)

It has been almost 2 years and I never received a response to the following post.

After getting no direction from our beloved Hose readers whatsoever, and not caring if it was gay or not, I have been doing a little bit of manscaping™ here and there. You know, when it gets a little bit unruly I take some scissors and snip away.

Anyways, my little sister came over one time and left a bottle of Nair in my house. I already knew the little bottle’s magical possibilities given the fact that my old roommate Ric the Slic with his Chewbacca-type chest hair used it all the time. Nevertheless, I had never used it myself and it was time for a little haircut.

I proceeded to read the instructions and right on top, it tells you to “Please read the WARNING section before use.” So I did...

It states:

IRRITATION OR ALLERGIC REATION MAY OCCUR WITH SOME PEOPLE, EVEN AFTER PRIOR USE WITHOUT ADVERSE EFFECT. THEREFORE, TEST BEFORE EACH USE BY APPLYING PRODUCT TO A SMALL PART OF THE AREA WHERE HAIR IS TO BE REMOVED. FOLLOW DIRECTIONS AND WAIT 24 HOURS. IF SKIN APPEARS NORMAL, PROCEED WITH FULL APPLICATION. DO NOT USE ON IRRITATED, SUNBURNED, INFLAMED, OR BROKEN SKIN. KEEP AWAY FROM EYES. SHOULD PRODUCT TOUCH THE EYES, WASH THOROGHLY WITH LUKEWARM WATER. IF IRRITATION OCCURS, CONSULT YOUR PHYSICIAN. DO NOT USE ON FACE, AROUND EYES, IN NOSE, EARS, OR ON BREAST NIPPLES, PERIANAL, OR VAGINAL/GENITAL AREAS.

KEEP OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN.

I conveniently placed in bold red letters the sections where I went wrong…

I don’t care much for legalese so without finishing the rest of the warning, I applied a little bit of product (about the size of a dime) on my balls and I sat down to watch TV while the 5-10 minutes of application time passed. When I jumped in the shower to remove the lotion and rinse my skin, it seems that the sitting down in the couch and walking from the couch to the bathroom had spread the lotion over half my balls and therefore spreading the aforementioned test area.

I came out of the shower and it seemed just a little bit irritated. By the end of the night though, it was so RED, it looked like a baboon’s ass.



So now, I am walking around with half my balls as smooth as silk looking like the number 3 on a pool table and the other half...well, you know!

I will let the irritation/allergic reaction go away before I do the other half...

Write Your Own Caption

Evil

Write your own caption

A vegas Story

So this 21 year old was telling me about why she moved to Vegas. About how she was living in Sac for years, about how she was in love, about how her boyfriend was on her payroll to body guard her when she went to do incalls throughout northern california. She told me a story about Vacaville...She banged on about Sac. She did this wierd vibrating/gurggling thing with her throat against my croach.

Buck thought it was the best lapdance ever.

I think I almost cried. She was talking about falling in love with a boy who was a bouncer at a strip club she worked at and then became her personal bodyguard and then just drifted into how he's now an addict and how she ran to vegas and is now living with a dude who runs the biggest escort agency in Vegas but is not working for him.

it would have been a great dance if she just shut the hell up.

hmm

i'm drunk...i'm in vegas...i smell like stripper

can't sleep

evil

i took an ambien... but still can't sleep. :(

Super Bowl

Evil

Hey y'all... I have nothing racist, sexist, or downright ignorant to say today. So I will just post a shout out and thanks to Mamacita, Bruno, and KenTak3 for hosting a Super Bowl party yesterday! It was a most excellent party. Even more so because I didn't get pee'd on by Bruno.