Evil
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Strange Habits
Posted by
Evil
at
6:54 PM
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D-Bag of the Week: Jay Leno
Rational people like Sparks will probably complain that I am being unfair to Jay and that some soulless network executive is probably to blame for all this but I say no. Soulless network executives are by definition soulless and likely cannot tell right from wrong so I blame. Jay. F U , Jay!
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Conan and his good friend, the Masturbating Bear, in happier times
Posted by
Xtian
at
6:53 PM
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Labels: dbag of the week, xtian
More Pitch Meeting
I have been doing a lot (3 or 4 episodes shorter than 5mins) of webisode watching, hoping to understand a few things:
(1) Who the F cares?
(2) How do you measure success?
(3) What works and what doesn't?
And then I came across this, which initially seemed tangential and later appeared to be another article on not much, something Vanity Fair excels at. I mean all these chicks have twitter followers but what gives? What's with the flirty trenchcoats? amiright?
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I recognized Felicia Day from my minor obsession with Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog a year or so ago so I did some research. Apparently, this article was disappointing to all involved and rather than just move on (and more than likely because the Sunday football games were boring) I looked into what she was complaining about.
To net it out, I don't have much to report, This woman seems to earn a living as a working web series actress. Having said that, I still don't understand how, or the answers to any of my original questions. Still, I found this catchy and highly entertaining
You can actually buy this on iTunes...
Posted by
Xtian
at
6:00 PM
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Saturday, January 09, 2010
Live Blogging - The Hose Official Wild Card Weekend Open Thread
Game 1 - Jets at Cincinnati aka The Santa Margarita Catholic High School Alumni Bowl featuring two of its most famous Alums - Carson Palmer and "The Sanchize" Mark Sanchez.
Game 2 - Philly at Dallas in the "Who will earn the right to run the table and lose to an AFC team in the Superbowl" Bowl.
More...The Jets are threatening to run 70% of the time and the Bengals are threatening to put a tenth man in the box to stuff the run. You know what that means? The Jets should roll Sanchez out and have him throw slants the first three drives and give him the option to take off if he can find the edge. I am not even remotely kidding. Sanchez can complete 3 throws - The wide receiver screen, over the top to Braylon and slants. So I am declaring today -Slant City and will change Sanchez's nickname from "The Sanchize" to "Manchez" if this works!
Did you know - The Jets average more point per games than the Bengals. What does that mean? Probably not much. No takeaways here....
Lots of storylines in the late game - Can McNabb find Jackson down field? Can the center block anyone on the Cowboys line? Will Romo implode? Will the Eagles actually try to blitz someone? It's been three weeks since Felix Jones has pulled a hamstring so will he pull two tonight?
Did you know - The Eagles have not scored a point since their starting Center went down in the second quarter of their Week 16 game against the Broncos. The Take Away - Centers matter.
New ground rules for the Live Blogging. Let's stick all thoughts in the comments section of this post. That will allow us to do this from your favorite smartphone.
Posted by
Xtian
at
2:10 PM
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Labels: live blogging, sports, xtian
Job I Didn't Know Existed
There has been a lot of talk in the news lately of this double agent who blew himself up in the presence of a CIA team. Terrible story.
Then, last night, there was an episode of The Office which featured a scene at the end where Dwight and the Nard Dog claim to be double agents. At which point I expected Michael to claim to be a triple agent, because that would be ridiculous. But he didn't. He also went with double agent (dropped the ball there Office writers).
Turns out it isn't so ridiculous. There are triple agents! From the most trusted source, Wikipedia: "A triple agent pretends to be a double agent for the target organization, but in fact is working for the controlling organization all along. Usually, they keep the trust of the target organization by feeding information to them that apparently is very important but is in fact misleading or useless."
I'm not sure how this is all that different than being an "agent" though. Seems like the double is offset by the triple, thus making it a single. Right? So I was really gobsmacked when I learned that there are quadruple agents too!!!!! That would be one tricky job.
Friday, January 08, 2010
Things That Make Me Say Good Gravy
Sitting here at home, wondering where KillerB2 is, watching Bristol Bay Brawl - basically The Most Dangerous Catch 2.0.
So these guys are fishing for herring, so they can sell the roe to Asian markets. Cool. They drive around the Bay, drop nets, haul fish, cuss, swear, etc.
After they've caught a bunch of fish, they haul it to a processing boat. When they do they get the weight, and value of their catch. Exciting!!!!
So this dude just rolled the dice, got a huge catch. 20 tons of herring. Good Gravy. He's gonna be rich. Sooooooo rich.
Value of 40,000 pounds of herring. $2500. Good Gravy!!!!! Mental note: keep up the high flying marketing, because herring fishing is the ass-end of money making.
Posted by
KillerB
at
9:48 PM
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Labels: Good gravy, KillerB1
28 Hours of Football Pregaming
The Hose Official Wild Card Game Viewing Party is kicking off tomorrow at an undisclosed location in the East Village!!! Come bear witness to xTian slitting his wrists around 7:15 Eastern!
Prize for whoever can name all the coaches in this video!
Btw, Parcells + autotune = genius!
Thursday, January 07, 2010
xTian's Pitch Meeting
Prior to Thanksgiving, I was in LA for a friend’s engagement/wedding reception thingamabobber. At this event, I met several people who seemed to be planning to produce or had recently starred in some sort of web series or guest stared on webisodes of a web series. I found this fascinating. Mostly because it sounded like code for "I'm an unemployed actor" but whatever...
The storytelling approach has to be completely different because you sort of have to tell a small story in a shortened format. Even in a situation where you have some sort of cliffhanger you have to introduce characters and a scenario in a compressed time frame. I have spent a lot of time, thinking about strange things so I spent some time wondering what sort of concepts would lend them selves to webisodes.
Here are a few:
More...Push & Kick
I met a guy recently who lived somewhere in Brooklyn, not terrible close to a subway. So whenever he went anywhere he would bring along a collapsible foot scooter so that he could ride more quickly to the subway. Since he thought it ok to lug it into a restaurant where we were having dinner with mutual friends, I thought it was ok to ask him if he brought this on dates etc. He admitted he did and that at times people had found it off putting. Of course, this started percolating in my head – doesn’t this work as a broader metaphor for the isolation brought about our modern usage of technology? Wouldn’t it be sort of fascinating to watch this guy get turned down on dates, possibly knock small children over and alienate his friends and family in several situations –each in its own webisode? Then this could also be elements of a longer narrative. Each webisode taking our hero deeper into the dumps till he bottoms out (extremely isolated) and then he can redeem himself by doing something truly heroic and it ends with him basically reigniting a foot scooter craze. We could also use a Segue I guess, but only if they come through with promotional considerations
Summer BreezeI also think Mr. Shoulder’s life deserves its own webseries. I will let your mind run wild with the possibilities. I had an idea 5 years ago when Mr. Shoulders was hitting the Jersey Shore and Vegas with voracious frequency. Of course, MTV sort of swiped that idea and now we have to deal with “The Situation” and Snooki, even though I had the idea first. Still, the life and loves of Mr. Shoulders sounds compelling...much more so than Cat Fancy staring Evil.
Mid-Teen Afternoon Social
This one was actually devised in conjunction with another Hoser, who can choose to reveal himself if he likes. I recently have been reading a lot of about how today’s teens have a far different value system than we did growing up and now kids are running trains, giving BJs left and right and generally running amuck. The more I thought about this, the more I thought movies like Super Bad are actually a little innocent and a reflection of an earlier more innocent time. Imagine if instead of trying to have sex or make out our whatever our teen heroes were trying to talk various women into basket jobs and rainbow parties or ass play (as a first sexual experience). Every mini episode could be their attempt to get their party together could be wrought with hilarious little failures and them trying to use current porn dialogue to get women to react. I am not sure how it would actually end. Maybe they will learn something. Maybe someone will try to trick them into having unprotected assplay. I have not really decided.
Anyway, I consider all three of these ideas as valid as most of the episodic web shorts I have seen online.
Posted by
Xtian
at
10:51 AM
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Labels: we like to watch, xtian
Wednesday, January 06, 2010
Things I Do For Evil
After seeing Evil's early struggles in growing a Manuary beard, I decided to do something about it. Since I'm not a genetic scientist, I couldn't do anything about his lack of a beard, so I did the next best thing: I grew one for him. Here ya go pal.
Unfortunately I have a meeting tomorrow, so 12 hours from now this will be gone. If you like I can collect the shavings and send them your way. Let me know.
I doubt your #1 BFF did anything as thoughtful.
Tuesday, January 05, 2010
Date or Die: I don't know you that well now please help me with my bra
I went on a second date this past Saturday. Though not very into the woman, I thought it was pretty important to not leave this world never seeing a redhead naked. We had a fairly successful conversation though I found her indecisiveness about her academic pursuits somewhat annoying.
We stepped out to find a bar for a nightcap. The January air whipped us in the face so fast that we ducked into the first bar we could find, not the bar I was suggesting and one that turned out to be very overcrowded. Not wanting to stay, I suggested we return to her apartment. She stared at me, somewhat shocked about my directness. In the cab she jumped me. On the elevator going up to her apartment she suddenly hesitated admitting she was unsure given that she had to this point spent 3 hours with me. 15 minutes later I was helping her out of her clothes. 1 hour later she again discussed her hesitancy though by that time the point was moot. 2 minutes later I mocked her faux-indecisiveness. 5 minutes later she helped me find my socks after suggesting I leave. 10 minutes after that, as I walked to the subway, she phoned me and asked if I wanted to come back up. 45 minutes later, I was home, alone and reasonably happy to be going to sleep before 2am.
The redhead thing turned out to be a minor disappointment overall. Just in case, anyone out there was as intrigued as I was on the topic.
Posted by
Xtian
at
9:14 PM
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Labels: Date or Die, xtian
Annoyance of the day: Bellyaching about terrorists

All this heated agitation about the failure of the government to protect us from terrorists on airplanes is annoying. Is anyone else pretty relieved by what has been revealed in the past couple of airline terrorist attack attempts? Consider the following examples:
Case 1: A well funded, well trained organization spends a full year planning every last detail of an attack. They find a non-Arab attacker, and successfully get him a US travel visa. Everything goes right for them at the airport, and the guy gets on the plane. What’s the problem? He could only sneak enough explosive onto the airplane to incinerate his own junk. The airplane and the passengers were never in danger.
Case 2: A pretty active splinter group spends all sorts of time devising a bomb that fits inside a shoe. The guy makes it onto the airplane with it, but cannot detonate the device before being restrained. However, nearly every expert agrees that such a device was nowhere near large enough to disable a commercial jetliner. Again, the worst he could have done is perhaps hurt a few of the people around him, and you will never stop people from being able to do that.
Do I wish our intelligence officers had picked these guys up earlier? Of course. Would I be happy sitting next to the idiot that just melted his testicles or blew his damn foot off? Of course not. But I’m also pretty excited that the worst either of these organizations could have done, even if their plans had been executed flawlessly, would be to cause some non-fatal commotion.
I feel better about airline safety than I did before these “attacks.” Stop yo’ bellyachin’!
Posted by
Sparks
at
6:17 PM
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Labels: Sparks=Wrong
Users Guide to Making up Words
As far as I can tell making up new words has been going on ever since word #1. I think it is really great that new words can be created, but I also think we need some ground rules. So here they are......
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People who CAN make up new words:
- Rappers
Can you imagine a world without fo' shizzle? I can't.
People who SHOULD not, ever, under any circumstances make up new words:
- Clergy
- Politicians
- Teachers
- Lastly, and most importantly, sports broadcasters.
Which brings me to my warning. If I'm ever with you, and I hear you say "trickeration", in any context, I will reflexively punch you.
I'm having nightmares about "trickeration" this football season. Some might say I should blame the wildcat offense, but that would be giving these idiots an out. The only thing that drives me even more mad is when there is "extracurricular" activity after a play - but of course that is a word.
Key take away: I hear you say "trickeration", there will be extracurricular action.
I like this song "Home" by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros
When global warming turns my swampland into desert 30 years from now, I'm inviting all of you down and we'll have a dusty good time, just like these happy folk.
Monday, January 04, 2010
I like this song - "Work" by Hockey
Is this a cover of something?
Posted by
Xtian
at
10:06 PM
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Labels: we like to listen, xtian
The NY Jets Have a New Super Fan
I just want to give the Sanchize a shout out for being the biggest super fan in the Meadowlands and cheering his team to victory!
Did you see him fist pump after the direct snap/57 yd run to Brad Smith in the 1st half? What poise!
Secondary shout out to Chad Ochocinco who is not following through on changing his name back to Johnson but is following through and getting Fireman Ed VIP tickets to next week's rematch in Cinncy. I think we need more of the OCHO. Class act all the way...
Redneck, not Yuppie
It was a big weekend in the KillerB's household. KillerB2 and I watched football, saw a movie, and conducted KillerB2's annual year end audit.
She has been doing this for several years, according to the spreadsheet she showed me, but this is the first year she has included me. Presumably a result of our marriage.
The spreadsheet is basically your standard balance sheet of assets and liabilities. As expected, I had a lot to contribute on the liability side - enough student loans to bankrupt a small nation. On the asset side I struggled. It turns out I don't really have assets aside from retirement accounts and the like. I don't own a car, I don't collect art, I drink whatever comes into the house, so there aren't any rare wines laying around - but under pressure to come up with something to fill those rows, the following 3 emerged as my most valuable tangible assets
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1) Pocket knife collection - rare Remington bullet series knives, and a few other odds and ends
2) Antique Winchester, over-under double barrel shotgun
3) 1.75 acres of surveyed but off-the-grid Florida swampland adjacent to Lake Okeechobee
The later I would not have included last year. Earlier this year, however, I received a letter from the Nature Conservancy offering to buy it from me. Turns out I'm fortunate enough to own land that 8 endangered species of birds call home. SCORE! Apparently my lot falls under their tier 1 priority. I learned this by Googleing my lot details, and found their planning document as a PDF. Negotiating 101: don't post your position online.
I didn't sell it though. I'm saving it to build my dream shanty on.
Knives + Guns + Swampland is basically the most perfect redneck formula ever. That's what I brought to the annual audit.
Congrats
Evil
Posted by
Evil
at
12:38 AM
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Friday, January 01, 2010
New Years Quickies
Evil
Posted by
Evil
at
5:08 AM
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Thursday, December 31, 2009
Sometimes I Feel Like This Guy -- Indie Short Film Edition
Evil
Posted by
Evil
at
4:56 AM
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Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Worst Decade Ever (Part 1 of 2)
Evil
More...
Posted by
Evil
at
10:20 PM
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Vampire Weekend - How fun are these guys?
Posted by
Xtian
at
9:05 PM
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Labels: we like to listen, xtian
Pop Culture Images of the Decade
Do you guys remember when X-tian dyed his hair blonde, bought a 12 pack of white t-shirts and walked around with his arms folded for what seemed like an entire year? Well that year was 2000.
This, of course, is from the 2000 VMA's. The VMA's were a show people like us used to look forward to - like a Top Chef finale for the beginning of the decade.
The OOs: TV Shows We Liked to Watch: #1 The Wire
The Wire was a television program that could not have happened before the 2000s. Really, it was probably 20 years too soon but it came when it came and it was awesome.
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The concept was huge
The concept was simple enough I suspect when he sold it. A police procedural about drug dealers and wire taps in Baltimore. David Simon (a former City Reporter for the Baltimore Sun and later a producer and writer for Homicide and author of the The Corner) delivered on this but he also gave us so much more. In the end he told a broad story about the failure of large US cities at the beginning of the 21st century starting first with the drug trade, and subsequently exploring the evaporation of the middle class, the inherent bureaucracy of local government, the complete failure of the educational system and finally why the media is no longer in a position to expose all these limitations.
The narrative and the characters are complex
Lots of writers who got paid to watch TV called the show “Dickensian in scope”, something that annoyed Simon so much that he used it as an example of the sort of drivel that Editors use at flailing newspapers in season 5. What the meant is that he managed to avoid following a strict linear narrative. Dominic West was ostensibly the star of the show but he spent the entirety of season 3 showing up every other episode, smirking, and then drifting back into the background. This is because the city (its street corners, funeral homes, projects, police precincts, city hall) was the star with several characters going into and out of focus at any given time.
They also never give you an upper hand over anyone in the show. You learn things as they do. You also have to pay attention. Police Chief Bunny Colvin shows up for 3 minutes in season 2, quietly observes a situation and decides then and there what his only course of action is; as witnessed by his Hamsterdam experiment in Season 3.
People love Omar Little – the Robin Hood of the ‘hood. They fear Marlo Stansfield. They inexplicably want Bunny to succeed and mostly because you are willing to trade anything away for a cessation of the insanity.
It also manages to be quite funny.
It won’t make you feel good
There is no redemption for the system it’s a disaster. Some characters find individual redemption but its few and far between and even then their position is assumed by someone else from the cast ensure that their system stays broken and things stay hopeless.
Season 4 is essentially about the children raised on the streets of Baltimore and it is at times heartbreaking. Your investment in the “hoppers” – Namond, Michael, Dukie, and Randy will leave in pieces after you realize where Baltimore leaves most of them… You also get to meet Kinard – who turns out to be the most evil 5 year old ever.
A closing thought
This is a tough show to watch. No one stops to explain anything to you - its one long sprawling narrative that unfolds bit by bit. It was also the single vision of one creator - an auteur – just like filmmaking in the 70s. This is the conceit of television in the 00s. Prior to this decade TV shows were pretty consistent. The status quo could not be disrupted week to week so viewers could check in or out without much work. This is no longer the case. As technological advances drove a drop in prices (as VHS went to DVDs then On Demand to our eventual post net work future), the revenue opportunity for television series also changed because revenue could be made up in the secondary market. This allowed people to stretch on TV. I suppose it could have happened earlier with VHS but it didn’t for whatever reason. I mean really, who went out and bought MASH or even Friends on VHS? I don’t know many folks who did.
I am not sure which was the chicken or the egg here. Was it the burning platform (the 10 hour drama of the Sopranos, FX’s The Shield or ABC’s Alias) or the technology? The best answer is that they probably helped each other out – a virtuous circle with each element re-enforcing the other. Now telling a story (large or small) across a series was possible because any audience sacrificed week to week could be made up future consumption. The medium of that consumption continues to evolve and soon no one will consume DVDs and eventually we won’t even being paying for cable (the next inefficiency to fall and I can’t wait)
So this is the TV story of the 00s. The first few examples of this in the decade (JJ Abrams work on Alias and the guy from Sopranos) begat others like Lost and even Glee. But it reached it potential with The Wire - a brilliant show that is probably best consumed on DVD or on Demand as one long single narrative.
Posted by
Xtian
at
1:43 PM
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Labels: The 00s, we like to watch, xtian
A Question That Needs To Be Asked
Evil
Posted by
Evil
at
9:02 AM
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Tuesday, December 29, 2009
A Prodigy In Douchiness
Evil
Posted by
Evil
at
11:29 PM
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Shocking Fact Of The Day
Posted by
Evil
at
10:31 PM
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Technological Advances

When we look back on this era, it will be hard to explain to our grandchildren just how fast technology was changing our lives. This decade really began to deliver on the promise of the massive internet technology investment bubble of the late 1990s, bringing connectivity to a place that would have seemed like science fiction in 1990. Below are 10 technological innovations born of the 00’s that have changed our daily lives (note that some of this technology existed in the 90s’, but reached critical market mass this decade).
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10. Flat screen TVs & monitors – In January 2000, nobody had a plasma or LCD TV. Today damn near everyone does. One could argue that these TVs didn’t change anything; they just replaced a slightly different version of the TV. But I would argue that they are changing our lives at least aesthetically. The TV as furniture is done. The hulking entertainment cabinet as the centerpiece of a home is a thing of the past. These fantastic TVs have also changed the viewing experience. A decade ago, a 37” TV was really, really big. Today it is the smallest model Costco carries.
9. GPS + mapping sites – There is just no reason to be lost anymore. Nobody uses atlases or maps. We print up directions before we go, or we pop in our destination in our ubiquitous GPS devices.
8. Digital cameras – Over the course of this decade, the price of taking a picture went from ~$1 (film + development), to zero. This declining cost has led to an explosion in photography. Every human event is thoroughly documented in a way that would have been unfathomable a short time ago, as noted in a recent Onion article. Interestingly, as the ability to take and share photos grows, the production of physical photos has fallen off a cliff. I have shoeboxes full of pictures from college and before, but only maybe a dozen physical photos from the last 7 years. Sure hope my hard drive holds up!
7. Wikipedia – Wikipedia started out as a joke, but man, they have really turned things around. I would argue that it is the single most useful site on the internet (search engines collectively are more important, but there are several of them, and only one Wikipedia). I wasn’t thinking of including it in this list until I realized that I had looked up every one of my entries in Wikipedia. It has killed the encyclopedia outright, and it has evil designs on research libraries. Here’s a fun wiki time killer, if you are interested.
6. Facebook – Email brought down the cost of keeping up with people you don’t see every day. A lot of us still have high school friends we would have lost touch with in an era of letter writing. But keeping up via email still has a cost. You need to compose a message, get the right email address, etc. Facebook dropped the cost of keeping tabs on people down to zero. Kids today will need to opt out of keeping up with their high school friends. The concept of whittling down one’s social circle as life progresses – a constant feature of civilization for the last 5,000 years – will cease to be.
5. TiVo – Remember trying to be home at a specific time to catch your favorite show? As recently as 2004, I was scheduling my graduate school classes so I could catch the 5pm Simpsons reruns. TiVo has made that a thing of the past. Good riddance!
4. Wireless internet – As the importance of the internet grew in the 1990’s, the usefulness of the laptop computer diminished. What’s the point of having a mobile computer if it had to be tethered to your network to be at all useful? Nowadays, we just assume every café, airport, hotel and strip club has wireless available. At the end of this decade, it’s the desktop computer that is looking more and more obsolete.
3. Home broadband connection – Remember that terrible shrieking sound your modem made when it connected to your ISP? Remember the per-minute charges? Can you believe that was just 8 years ago? Installing the capacity to bring broadband internet access into every home nearly took down the entire telecom industry, and it certainly bankrupted a number of its biggest names. But the result was worth it. Bringing the internet in all of its glory into every middle class home has really unlocked its potential, allowing everything else on this list to flourish.
2. Smart phones – Man, what can’t these things do? They have truly turned the 10-hour worker into the 24-hour worker, which is either a good thing or a bad thing depending on your perspective, but definitely a different thing. It has made escaping work harder and less tolerated, but it has also made escaping the physical office much, much easier, for which I love my Blackberry dearly. To grasp its importance, 25 minutes of downtime of a device that didn’t exist 10 years ago now makes the front page of the NYTimes.
1. The Segway - Do any of us even remember life before the Segway?
And now a few things that get a lot of talk, but did not warrant a top-10 placement on my list
Google – It’s a search engine. Yes, we use it every day, but before we used Google, we used Yahoo, and before we used Yahoo, we used Alta Vista. Whatever algorithmic advantages it may have over its competitors doesn’t mean much to the casual search engine user.
Ipod – I had a walkman that a rarely used. After that, I had a discman that I rarely used. Now I have an Ipod that I rarely use. The concept of carrying music around with you has been around for 25 years. Yes, the Ipod made it easier to carry much, much more music, but there is a very finite amount of music one can actually consume on the go. The Ipod changed nothing and doesn’t deserve a spot here.
DVDs – No consumer product has ever taken off as quickly as the DVD player. But I am not sure it changed our lives very much. I use DVDs exactly as I used VHS tapes – to watch movies and occasionally to use as a coaster.
Net Flix – This almost made the list. It has singlehandedly made the phrase “going to the video store” as obsolete as “going to the soda fountain.” Let's call it #11.
Posted by
Sparks
at
6:19 PM
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Labels: Sparks = educational (plagiarist), The 00s
Pop Culture Images of the Decade
Now this one is a bit of a political image of the decade, but let's face it, this had crossover appeal. Even people who didn't give a flip about politics enjoyed watching Howard Dean implode in Iowa on that brisk January evening in 2004.
Things I don't want this man doing:
1) Responding to emergencies
2) Responding to requests
3) Responding to enemies
4) Responding to supporters
5 - Infiniti) Anything that is more than trivial
Of course, he's now in charge of the party that largely supported him before this epic meltdown.
Manuary Beard Update
Evil
Posted by
Evil
at
7:44 AM
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Monday, December 28, 2009
Exposé!!!
Evil
Posted by
Evil
at
10:09 AM
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Useless Photo Of The Day

Posted by
Evil
at
9:38 AM
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Rome
Posted by
Evil
at
8:38 AM
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Lookey-Likey - Rome Edition, Volume 4
Posted by
Evil
at
8:32 AM
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Lookey-Likey - Rome Edition, Volume 2
Posted by
Evil
at
8:18 AM
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Lookey-Likey - Rome Edition, Volume 1
Posted by
Evil
at
8:08 AM
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Sunday, December 27, 2009
The OOs: TV Shows We Liked to Watch: #6-2
So, I got backed up on this and was struggling to catch up. I think there is more potential for debate and discussion if blow through 6-2. By Tuesday, I will put up what I think #1 is.
There are some notable exceptions that I want to proactively mention:
I am declaring Survivor a creature of the 90s
I hate everything to do with forensic science
Rome went for only 2 seasons and the second season was undone by budget pressures that made them skip through about 10 years of their story
So none of the make the cut, though there are strong arguments for all.
Having said all that, I still had 7 to go and only 6 slots, so I am going to have a tie for 6th.
So without further ado,
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6A. Top Chef
Our first Reality Show Entry! Let’s admit the following as a group: Bravo is primarily geared towards gays. I just needed to get that out of the way. This show is also super surprising. I think a lot of other reality shows tried to manufacture drama - Survivor through their ‘coalitions’ and what not, The Real World with their booze, the bachelor and the . Top Chef is a little different. They really rely on the nutty diva personalities, much like a chef who relies on the natural qualities of his ingredients. Who knew that cooking could be so competitive.
6A. Mad Men
Mad Men is great for several reasons. First, it works very hard to put us in a different time and place. Second, it has complex characterizations. Lastly, it refuses to indulge its audiences with quick resolutions. I have had conversations with people who argue that somehow, even though its a highly serialized drama they never disrupt the status quo. I am not sure it could be more wrong. As near as I can see, all the characters are exactly where they are as a direct result of the decisions they have been making. We all have to respect that.
5.Arrested Development
I suspect many shows are too smart for their own good. I think Arrested Development is one of these shows. Prior to writing this I went and looked up the definitions of surrealism and absurdist humor to see if those were phrases I should use to describe this show. They aren't and that's too bad because there should be a word, a phrase, a style to describe what Arrested Development was all about. I mean why was the camera shaky? As if they were taping a reality show? Why did that one episode have a "live episode" ending, even though it was not taped live? Why is GOB so motherF***ing hilarious? What exactly was Charlize Theron doing in those last few episodes?
This show raised more questions then it ever answered. But that's ok. I just knew I was in a good place if GOB was on camera and I knew I hated Buster. Can you really hate a show that brought us Michael Cera? Or the show that will springboard Maybe's eventual Cinemax career? Of course not. It was awesome.
4. 30 Rock
This show makes the list because I am sexually attracted to Tina Fey. I think she's HOT. In an earlier draft of this post, I went on at length about how attractive her scar looked when she did "Weekend Update" and how that scar makes me think of sex. I took this out for obvious reasons.
Tina Fey is hot because she is really funny and this show is really funny and post coital joking is awesome. Also I find Tracy Morgan hilarious.
3. Lost
Lost is the most successful, completely inaccessible sci-fi TV show ever. It is also the most successful piece of serialized television ever. It is also the most character driven drama of the last decade. Their ability to balance all these elements enabled this show to dominate the zeitgeist for 2-3 years in the middle of the decade. It also makes it nearly impossible to jump in on now and makes every new episode worthy of substantial, if unfulfilling discussion. Regardless, I can’t not watch this show. I am completely convinced that this show has not won a new viewer over since the middle of season 1. I am terribly worried that with 18 hours left, people will not get every question answered and that will somehow undermine its legacy. There will never be another Lost. We should all be sad about that.
2. American Idol
Everyone watches this show. It turns people like the chick in clip below into super duper stars. It's a huge deal week in, week out. The dynamic between the judges is awesome and it was a juggernaut for most of the decade. So its #2, not #1.
Posted by
Xtian
at
12:58 PM
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Labels: The 00s, we like to watch, xtian
Things That Make You Say GOOD GRAVY!
Evil
Posted by
Evil
at
1:13 AM
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Friday, December 25, 2009
Evil
This commercial only runs in the New York television markets, so I image that not all Hosers have seen it. Doing my civic duty and posting it here to make sure that all Hosers get a chance to see this commercial!
Posted by
Evil
at
7:08 PM
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Thursday, December 24, 2009
The OOs: TV Shows We Liked to Watch: #7 True Blood
It is important to note that I have been consistently gay for vampires for most of my life, whereas the country as a whole goes through a pretty cyclical love affair. The end of the decade was the latest resurrection of America’s love affair with the bloodsucker.
More...
True blood is quite different from most other incarnations. For instance, instead of taking place somewhere more cosmopolitan it takes place in rural Louisiana. The world is very much like the setting for other vampire stories – similar to our own, but with a twist. Instead of vampires existing in hiding, they are an acknowledged if not quite accepted fact of life. True Blood is also totally gross on several levels. Humans take vampire blood (V) like it’s a drug and “fangbangers” love sexing vampires, pretty wild. Of course, it’s not only about vampires. The protagonist, Sookie, is a normal human (except she can read thoughts) and her boss is a were-person and the fry cook is a gay. Their problems though (stilted out of time dialogue aside), are terribly human. We are only two seasons in, but Alan Ball has already turned these goofy novels into totally must watch TV.
Posted by
Xtian
at
9:29 AM
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Labels: ask xtian, The 00s, we like to watch
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
"DRAFT LE TROIS" campaign
Evil
Posted by
Evil
at
9:30 PM
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Hilarity Ensues...
Posted by
Evil
at
8:51 PM
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The OOs: TV Shows We Liked to Watch: #8 Battlestar Galactica
I suspect none of the fastidious forty ever watched this show. Unlike Glee, I found it hard to evangelize this show. How would I do it – “yeah…it is a remake of that dippy sci-fi show starring Face (pre-A- Team) but its so much more…” does not really sell it. Neither does “So it’s like the last 5 years of human civilization”, nor does “really it is an on going meditation about the natural tension of social evolution and how that impacts society’s notion of faith as referenced in an evolution from polytheism to monotheism…but in space”. So it’s all those things and so much more…want to watch? Yeah, did not think so…
More...The pitch for this show is simple enough. The last few thousand human beings in the universe are stuck on an increasingly decrepit space ship looking for a new home. They are being terrorized by their “children” - hot human looking robots – because the humans refuse denounce polytheism and embrace the love of the one true monotheistic God that the robots worship (or something). I am not even remotely kidding. Over its 5 seasons the show moves in all sorts of disturbing ways as humans become increasingly desperate. It is pretty tough to watch and the highs never quite match the lows. Watch people debate hot robots about faith and destiny. Try to figure out just how completely insane Dr. Baltar is as he argues with his super ego (in the guise of the hottest looking robot ever). This show is also the logical extreme of serialized inaccessible lunacy that television networks explored in the 00s to drive up DVD sales. More than anything, this show is one story…clearly I am biased.
Posted by
Xtian
at
12:39 PM
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Labels: ask xtian, The 00s, we like to watch
Pop Culture Images of the Decade
Ah, yes Larry Birkhead, you are a winner.
No fewer than 5 men claimed to be the father of little Dannielyn, daughter of Anna Nicole Smith, and you came out on top. Congrats. You must rea$$y, rea$$y, rea$$y love that child.
Here we see your quiet dignity in the months following the death of your daughter's mother.
Evil Loses Again
Evil
Posted by
Evil
at
7:17 AM
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Monday, December 21, 2009
Crowdsourcing New Years Resolutions
Evil
Posted by
Evil
at
8:05 PM
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D**che Sighting: Brett Favre
The OOs: TV Shows We Liked to Watch: #9 Gilmore Girls
This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.
Posted by
Xtian
at
10:39 AM
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Labels: The 00s, we like to watch, xtian
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Pop Culture Images of the Decade
Now Only Peyton Is Perfect
Posted by
Evil
at
12:59 AM
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Saturday, December 19, 2009
Revelations While Sleeping
Evil
Posted by
Evil
at
9:50 PM
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Weather... or Large Member?
Evil
Posted by
Evil
at
8:06 AM
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Evil
This baby was born without a brain and has survived a full year. It's being hailed as a Christmas miracle. I say, BAH-HUMBUG!
So what, this kid is a year old? Our very own Manolo has survived a full 38 years without a brain. And look at what a full life he's led. I say we give Manolo his due! Yay for Manolo!
Posted by
Evil
at
6:42 AM
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Friday, December 18, 2009
Greatest Interview Ever? Maybe...
You might have caught my new besties on Leno or Jimmy Kimmel or George Lopez (he's bringing the party back to late night...have you heard? no? Me neither) but the only appearance that was awesome was their proper interview with Conan.
It got me thinking - isn't it time to thin the herd a bit. I know NBC has Leno on at a 10 because its cheaper than scripted TV or a reality show, but can he just go away? I mean seriously. If they are that worried about cost, they could just QVC us for an hour...oh who cares, I don't watch any of this crap anyway. I am just copying gawker posts for your amusement.
Posted by
Xtian
at
7:52 PM
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Labels: we like to watch, xtian
The OOs: TV Shows We Liked to Watch: #10
Following the same drill as before, I decided to highlight some of the shows that I thought were important in the last ten years. Same rules as before, but I liked Killer B #1's style so much I am going to do them one post at a time but with a twist. I am actually doing this countdown style. So I have 10 to get to, and sometime around December 31st I will unveil what I thought was the show of the decade
So without further ado...
More...The Chappelle Show: No show soared higher or flamed out more quickly. White kids everywhere started declaring themselves Rick James, even though most had no idea who Rick James was. People were talking about it everywhere and almost entirely by accident in a way that no one ever talked about Half Baked, even though I always argued we should.
Everyone knows how this story ended. Dave had an incredibly successful second season and then was offered $50MM to do several additional seasons. An offer he accepted then ran away from as he became less comfortable with the show and the pressures of fame and fortune.
Of course, the weirdest thing about all this, was how aware Chappelle was of his undoing as seen is this clip below...Chappelle's Show Dave Has $55 Million www.comedycentral.com Buy Chappelle's Show DVDs Black Comedy True Hollywood Story
Posted by
Xtian
at
6:45 PM
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Labels: ask xtian, The 00s, we like to watch
Pop Culture Images of the Decade
Oh Man. Who can forget this crazy lady, with her crazy eyes? Is she the craziest looking person ever?
So why was everyone so surprised when the "Runaway Bride" Jennifer Wilbanks disappeared in 2005? As you'll recall, she went out for a jog in her ritzy Atlanta neighborhood and disappeared.
I'm not certain, but I think this was kinda the kickoff to the news media's "missing white girl" fetish. Or maybe it was Chandra Levy? But that was more of a political thriller.
Anyway, Wilcox hadn't been abducted and taken to Albuquerque by a Hispanic man as she claimed. She had just gone nuts.
Posted by
KillerB
at
3:37 PM
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Labels: Ask KillerB1, The 00s
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Amazing Photo!
Evil
Posted by
Evil
at
10:33 PM
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Pop Culture Images of the Decade
It's All Xtian's Fault
Evil
Posted by
Evil
at
8:52 AM
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Pop Culture Images of the Decade
Ah - Adorable Prince Harry, he's so cute and innocent..... WTF!!!, is he dressed like a Nazi?
Oh, Harry, you royal douchebag. You've lived such a sheltered life you really don't know what offends people. Some day you will grow up and make Grandpa Philip seem seem positively charming and compassionate by comparison.










