The Hosecast: Episode 17 The Bump explains football to xTian

Every dog has his day - The Bump shows up to get xTian ready for the divisional round of football. Topics include : how big a d**che is Brett Favre anyway, Kurt Warner and his brilliant game, the meanness of Ray Lewis and the what Jets need to do to beat the Chargers.

Watch them disagree on every pick and leave confusion in their wake here.

The Hosecast: Episode 16 Evil Returns

Evil! (Part 1 of 2). Evil drops in to discuss the year that was and the year that will be on the Hose. He also gives fans an inside look at how the Hose is put together. Finally, xTian gives Evil a Date or Die update...

Listen to the whole discussion here.

xTian Sighting

xTian showed up on someone else's sports podcast to talk WNBA, the Quiddich World Cup, centaurs and professional field hockey.

You can listen here.

The Hosecast Episode 14: NFL Round Up Part 2

NFL Week 4 Report - Part 2 of 2. xTian and the Bump continue their trip around the NFL - handicapping the Jets season, discussing the emergence of the Sanchize and playing "Where are they now?" with some of the key participants from "Pandemonium in Piscataway".

Listen to the whole discussion here.

The Hosecast Episode 13: NFL Round Up

NFL Week 4 Report - Part 1 of 2. xTian and the Bump go round the NFL, talk best and worst teams and lay down some early predictions for the Super Bowl. xTian also takes a moment to slam the Worldwide Sports Leader

Listen to the whole discussion here.

The Hosecast Episode 12: The Hangover + Miami + Hosers = Comedy Gold?

Part 1 of 2 - It's a THREE WAY DANCE! Manolo and the Bump stop by to discuss Miami Social, The Hangover and their own experiences in Miami and try to figure out if there is enough to pitch a movie in all of this?

Listen to the whole discussion here.

Subscribe via iTunes here

The Hosecast Episode 11: Celebrity Death Roundtable

Evil, Killer B #1 and Killer B #2 stop by to discuss the recent run of celebrity deaths and muse on who might be next.

Programming Note - This was actually recorded almost immediately after Michael Jackson died but given the tone of 'cast we decided to hold off till people had some time to reflect and mourn.

Listen to the whole discussion here.

Subscribe via iTunes here

Latest Poll Results

This result is pretty surprising. I knew people liked Manolo for some reason but it was not clear to me that people were into Evil. Was it his preparation? Or is this our very own little Iran?

Is the fix in? Evil, take me to your supreme leader!

Having said all that, I think the Bump is out there doing yeoman's work. Can we give the brother a little respect? Catjjy was loads of fun to record. I learned the most from KillerB so that's cool too. Basically, we're all winners, everyone except you the listener! You guys get to keep on suffering! HOORAY

The Hosecast: Mailbag Edition

Rather than post a new Hosecast this week I figured I would do a little mailbagging
More...
To: The Hose
From: Evil Twin #2
Subject: basket jobs
What exactly is a basket job?
-ET2

Thanks for the great question,ET2. A basket job is a sexual act where a woman sits naked in a basket hanging from the ceiling. the basket is lowered onto a man in such a way that they can get it on. The basket is spun along the access so homeboy can feel it.
Why we talk about it? Well that's a little fuzzier. First, it's hilarious but most things to do with paying for sex are anyway. More specifically, either Sparks or KillerB learned about this during their trips to the far east and it has been a recurring joke since then.


To: The Hose
From: Sylvia in Miami
Subject: Kelly Clarkson
You guys seem to overanalyze everything to do with American Idol, so  I was hoping you could help clear something up for me. Why is Kelly Clarkson so much more successful than other past Idol Contestants. I don't mean like Clay Aiken and all these other guys, who don't really have an audience. I was thinking more like Katherine McPhee who seems to have more star power.

Hmm, I might want to defer to Killer B or Sparks here. I'll take a crack just to fill some time. First, I might disagree with the premise overall. Kelli Pickler might be just as popular as Kelly Clarkson. Sure, country music is sort of a niche but its an incredibly big niche. Daughty is also insanely popular, his music is so perfectly inoffensively bland that every radio station in the country is very comfortable playing it and parents are genuinely ok with letting their children download it on iTunes. Which I think is the exact tone you need to hit to achieve Kelly Clarkson like fame -sing a bunch of catchy songs that anyone else in the world could sing, don't get in the tabloids for binge drinking and setting cars on fire but do get in the tabloids for being incredibly relatable (When Kelly Clarkson sings about not getting a dude or not being happy its sort of believable. Also, she has a weight problem totally relatable). Katharine McPhee's problems are to my mind 2 (1) Does she want to sing or act? I suspect she does not know (2) She's too pretty to have Kelly Clarkson like problems. 

To: The Hose
From: Mr. Shoulders
Subject: ?
do you think you are funny or something?  I don't look like Sam The Eagle

Yes you do, check the Lookey Likey again!

To: The Hose
From: Rodrigo in Long Beach California
Subject: banging journalists
Where do I find some and what do I say when I do?

-R

Rodrigo, thanks for writing and for listening and reading. This is a tough question. This sort of thing is very organic and only happens by throwing yourself into a half dozen random situations a week. Even that might not help. This group in particular  is fairly imbred and hard to track down. The best thing to do is to stand outside a local television affiliate or newspaper and help whoever comes out holding a box. She is probably a recently laid off/fired journalist who's next option is taking a much less glamourous position doing marketing-communications for an incredibly dull human sized basket making manufacturer in Riverside.



To: The Hose
From: Mandy in Portland Ma
Subject:The Bachelorette
What makes you an expert on good reality tv? You spend an hour killing Jillian The Bachelorette like some catty b*tch. (Thank goodness Catjjy was there to keep you in check) Then you proceed to with your brother celebrate the disaster that is "I'm a celebrity, Get Me Out of Here".

No one likes you, that's why you have all this free time to post podcasts.

WOW! First off, do you know the Mamacita or something? Secondly, I did not celebrate "I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here". It's a trainwreck of a show. I'm sad that this is where Lou Diamond Phillips ends up. First he loses his wife to Melissa Ethridge, now this!

To: The Hose
From: Paula in Cedar Creek
Subject: Future Hosecast Guests
Any plans to have the Mamacita on? I think you need someone to put you in your place. What about Sparks?

I am in active negotiations with the Mamacita to have her appear. She is being very particular. Specific dog food for bruno, buckets of red m&ms , special oil for KenTak3. Whatever it takes.

We need to find a niche for sparks to weight in on. Maybe that's the next poll.

To: The Hose
From: xTian's Father
Subject: Gay
I am very concerned. My two sons seem to spend all their time discussing the attractiveness of Mark Sanchez and old episodes of Gilmore Girl.

They also sound like two gay Dominicans on their way to a parade. And let's not even get into their friendship with that flaming poof Manolo.

(triste)

Hi Dad! Thanks for listening! If you are worried now, wait till we roll out the Over/Under Game "HOT GUYS" Edition with Manolo, xTian and the Bump all playing

The Hosecast: Episode 10: Joe Buck Gets Taught a Hard Lesson

The Bump checks in to discuss how the Summer of Dorkdom is treating him. While there the guys talk through the paltry summer TV options from The Real Housewives of NJ to I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here. Along the way, xTian has some choice words for Joe Buck and The Bump weighs in on the Letterman/Palin controversy.

Heineken and Marlboro Reds for everyone! It's time for the Hosecast!

Listen to the whole discussion here.

Subscribe via iTunes here

More...
If you want to see Artie set fire to the Joe Buck Show click here.

If you want to hear Artie talking about his personal problems on NPR's Fresh Air click here

The Hosecast: Forearms Like Watermelons

Extra Edition! KillerB stops by to tell us all about the Galapagos pictures you did not see!

Listen to the whole discussion here.

Subscribe via iTunes here

The Hosecast Episode 8: Over/Under Celebrity Edition

Because you don't hate us enough yet, Evil came back and dragged xTian into more offensive chatter...

This week we build off the ongoing discussion of celebrity hotness. Evil tests xTian's ability to guess potential ages of female celebrities. Along the way, the guys discuss what makes these women more or less hot and the downside of Crystal Meth.

Listen to the whole discussion here.

We'll be back Friday with an in-depth interview with KillerB on his Galapagos quest!

Subscribe via iTunes here

The Hosecast: Episode 6 and 7 - The Return of Evil

EVIL IS BACK (!) and the Hosecast has him here for a double dip.

Listen to Part 1 here. Evil tells xTian all about China, the underbelly of economic hyper expansion and basket jobs.

In Part 2 xTian and Evil go over the changes to the Hose since Evil went off the grid. Evil unable to help himself picks a fight with a fan favorite Catjjy, explains why Michelle Obama is not sexy, and clears up the entire Marisa Tomei issue once and for all.

Part 2 is a doozy - A listener's guide is available after the jump
More...

Evil and xTian realize that it was Catjjy who started this whole attainable business with regards to Marisa Tomei. They find the proof here.

How sexy is Michelle Obama exactly? Evil and xTian had strong opinions here. Recognizing there was no competition for her in the "First Ladies" bucket. They guys moved her to a new one - female ESPN personalities - just to see where she would fall.

Where would you stack her up against Pam Oliver (=sex), Hannah Storm, Suzy Kolber, Collen Dominguez and Michelle Tafoya?

In other news, I was listening to Adam Carolla's podcast today, and they can't get Skype to work clean either! Big ups to our IT Staff.

Apologies for not getting one in last week, between the Memorial Day holiday and the Bump's flakiness I was not able to get one up.

Subscribe via iTunes here

The Hosecast: Episode 5 - While Sparks is Away, Catjjy will Play - or at least watch The Bachelorette

The Hosecast welcomes Catjjy to talk about some reality TV. We picked the Bachelorette and had surprisingly strong opinions. This is a long one, but we had fun.

Click here to launch the player.

Subscribe via iTunes here

Catjjy is totally on point btw, she should probably take over hosting duties at some point.

The Hoscast: Episode 4

The Hosecast: Episode 4


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This is just a continuation of my conversation with Manolo, which took us way back in time to Astoria as I try to figure out what Manolo is doing attending so many stripper weddings!

The Hosecast; Episode 3 - Manolo Attacks!

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Manolo and I got down to it this week exploring what brought him back to the Hose and what he thinks of Evil, KillerB, and all the rest...

Manolo Is An Artist

Another take...I better see in the comments the following:

"You sir, are an artist!!!"

Manolo Works on the Hosecast Logo Too

I don't know why xTian is always singing Evil's praises...

Wooooo....Look at me...I can take a random picture and add text to it too...

Have you all seen the new Hosecast Logo?

Nice job by Evil!

Coming up this week,

• Evil on basketjobs and Shanghai living
• Manolo (LIVE) on why he thinks the Hose has "jumped the shark"
• The Bump on Manny Pacquiao

The Hosecast: Episode 2 - Swine Flu Attack!

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This sound 85% better. You can understand the Bump this time! Woo

We break down the swine flu, Mark Sanchez, Sanjay Gupta before we lose ourselves in the darkness of Mike Tyson's existence.